The short answer
- Open with something specific about them, not a compliment that fits anyone.
- Keep it short. Aim for under about 50 words.
- Say what you do in one plain line, if at all.
- End with one easy question, not a calendar link.
- No links, prices or long pitches in the first message.
Why most DMs get ignored
People ignore messages that are not about them. In Hunter's 2025 survey of decision makers about cold email, 71% named lack of relevance as the main reason they do not respond, followed by impersonal messages at 43% and lack of trust at 36%. That survey is about email, but the same reasons apply when a stranger's message lands in your Instagram requests.
The fix is not cleverer copy. It is a message that could only have been sent to that one person, short enough to answer on a phone between other things.
A simple formula
Example for a freelance video editor messaging a coach: Hey Sam, your reel on morning routines was great, the hook in the first second really worked. Do you edit those yourself or have someone helping?
It is specific, it is about them, and the question is easy to answer whatever the answer is.
- Observation: one specific thing from their profile, a recent post or a story.
- Relevance: one short line connecting it to what you do, only if natural.
- Question: one easy question about their situation, answerable in a few words.
Before and after
- Before: Hi! I help coaches scale to $10k months with our proven system. Book a free call here (link). After: Hi Jen, saw you just opened spots for your 8 week program, congrats. How are you finding people for it so far?
- Before: Love your page!! Let me know if you need help with marketing. After: Hey Omar, the new patio photos look great. Has the patio been busy on weeknights, or mostly weekends?
- Before: Dear Sir/Madam, I am reaching out to introduce our agency services. After: Hi Lena, your listing video for the Elm Street house was really clean. Do you shoot those yourself?
Rules that hold up
- Use their name if you know it. Placeholders like {firstname} help at scale, but check the name is real and not a brand.
- One question, not three. Multiple questions make replying feel like homework.
- No link in the first message. It looks like spam and is widely reported to raise the risk of restrictions.
- No fake familiarity. Do not pretend you met or that they asked for anything.
- Write like you talk. Read it out loud. If it sounds like an ad, rewrite it.
- Vary it. If you send the same message to many people, use spintax so it does not read identically.
Tip. Personalisation pays off in email data too: the Backlinko and Pitchbox study found personalised email bodies got 32.7% more replies. Instagram has no equivalent public study.
What to send after they reply
Answer their reply properly, then ask one more question about their situation. Two or three exchanges in, if there is a real need, suggest a short call or offer something specific, such as an example or a quick idea.
If they do not reply, a short follow-up two or three days later is fine. See Instagram follow-up messages for timing and examples.
Test, then keep what works
Write two or three versions of your opener and send each to a similar group of 30 to 50 people. Count replies, not just positive replies, since a conversation is what you want from a first message. Keep the winner, change one thing, and test again.
The DM templates give tested starting points by niche. IG Outreach Pro can send your versions with AI drafting, spintax and Test Mode previews from your own account, then export results to CSV so you can compare them. Automated DMs can conflict with Instagram's terms, so keep test batches small.